Every city, everywhere... "Yeah they totally do profiling..." "No, it's totally random..." Different faces, different places, same expressions, same dialogue... "Hi, where are you off to today?" Don't forget to wear stretch pants & slippers... Zip thru the security checkpoint in a hot minute... Necessary survival skills in This Modern Age - especially if you're hopping multiple flights & really need a cigarette on occasion... Add your gray human blob to their database, we all look like dirty marshmallow people on the monitors... The contents of our luggage is the most colorful cartoon the agents get to enjoy on their shift... Really don't miss the smoking sections on planes one bit, the smell of an ass ashtray is wonderfully absent... Altho a smoking lounge in the airports wouldn't be unwelcome, it's still nice to take a step outside the airport for a breath of "fresh" air... Surreal terminals... Endless attempts to fuse art & travel with lights, sculpture, framed finger paints by local schools... Massive spaces designed to get white-knuckle passengers used to the idea of being dwarfed in scale to the world around them before standing in a claustrophobic hallway & metal tube with small windows as a counterpoint... Intriguing psychological study of people, most unimpressed with the miracle of flight, a significant percentage are desperately trying to pretend "I ain't scared... are you scared?"... Fiendish worry in their eyes, badly hidden by a nervous smile... Looking for the smallest complaint to distract themselves from The Fear... "Miss, you're in section 2, not section 1, you need to go to the back of the line..." The best way to fly is to be too tired to think beyond the next step, also take full advantage of the airport bars, you can then easily tune out all the psychosis bleeding off the passengers while watching soap opera pop culture gibberish on your cell phone... Best not to wonder just how the food actually gets into the terminal... "Christ, that open window shade is SO annoying..." But you can't deny the view is gorgeous, unless you're terrified of the experience, and if so - why are you flying? Recirculated air, hellishly impressive ventilation systems most 3rd world countries can't even imagine and yet the scent of jet fuel subtly tints everything, leaving a glossy sheen on every surface, every person... Let the white noise lull you to sleep before wheels up... Don't. Touch. Anything. Not even your own face. Ever. Enjoy the godlike refreshing shower the moment you arrive at your hotel. Generic toiletries & trail mix at midnight. Repeat. 

Neil Kull